The cat and mouse game between drinkers and the agents of sobriety is an old one, but it’s fairly simple. Here’s how it works: The agents say “no drinking here,” and the drinkers nod politely while finding a new, clever way to hide the sauce.
Since the days of Prohibition—when “getting covertly drunk” nearly replaced baseball as our national pastime—the art form has only evolved.
In a Camouflaged Flask
The standard flask is an indispensable tool for the drinker on the go. From utilitarian stainless steel to ornate glass creations with embossed leather carrying cases, there are flasks to fit any personality.
While a normal flask is fine and dandy for entry-level booze sneakers, its telltale shape is a dead giveaway to any stadium guard worth his salt. But the internet has a wide range of camouflaged flasks, ranging from hair brushes to binoculars, cameras, ties and everything in between.
(Photo courtesy Homewetbar.com)
In a “Sealed” Water Bottle
There was a time when an unbroken seal represented a golden truth. That time has passed.
For under $10, you can buy a couple dozen “sealed” water bottle caps online.
Pour out that useless water, replace with glorious vodka, and enjoy the opening act.
(Photo courtesy Amazon)
Camouflaged as Listerine
This one is brilliant in its simplicity. It’s also mainly good for cruises and festivals only, unless you can convince the concert venue that, no, you just have really terrible breath.
Simply add a few drops of green and blue food coloring to your clear spirit (Vodka is used most often) and add the cap back on. The ease and popularity of this method unfortunately also means that many cruise companies know about it. Good luck!
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In a Sunscreen Container
In terms of sneaky drinking in public, this one is a brilliant warm weather tactic. Sunscreen is so ubiquitous during the hotter months, your SPF 100 won’t get a second look (that is, unless you are chugging directly from the container).
While you could empty one out yourself, it might be worth forking over the extra dollars to get one that doesn’t have any sunscreen remnants in it.
(Photo courtesy Amazon)
In a 24k Gold Bracelet
Though it will only hold about three ounces of booze, this 24k gold-plated bangle flask is big on class and style. On the other hand, the $225 price tag essentially means that each shot you sneak costs upwards of $100. At that price, we hope you’re sneaking in something good...and strong!
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In Your Underwear
If you’re in the market for a more budget-conscious flask fashion accessory, there are a few sartorial options available. Namely, in the undergarment department. But where better to hide something than where prying eyes will never see in the first place? That seems to be the concept behind these clever bras and briefs. And if that’s not your cup of tea, you could always hide it in your beer belly.
(Photo courtesy Papabert.com)