If you're like many Americans, the holiday season involves the rite of passage commonly known as the office holiday party. Unlike other traditional American drinking events such as the frat-house rager, the July 4th cookout and the Super Bowl Sunday, the holiday work party ups the ante by throwing an open bar into your workplace, then surrounds you with professional peers, your boss and—oh, yes—HR department. One too many can quickly become one job too few in that scenario. So, in the holiday spirit of giving, there are five drinks to surely avoid if you want to guarantee nobody at your work party ends up dancing with a lampshade on his or her head.
There's nothing inherently wrong with slushee-type drinks. They're easy, fun and tasty. That's exactly why they are terrible for a holiday work party. If you've ever had a blended margarita or piña colada, you know how hard it is to know how much booze you’re ingesting. Mix that with amateur bartenders pouring unevenly and you have a sweet, icy recipe for disaster!
Why? Why oh why would you drink one of these at a work function? The L.I.I.T. is a direct ticket to “too drunk” and only worth mixing if you want to be the Ghost of Christmas Passed Out.
The holiday season is full of sensory memories. The smell of chestnuts roasting on an open fire. The warm glow around a family dinner table. The soft refrains of a nearby group of carolers interrupted by a Santaconner slurrily screaming for another shot of Fireball. Just remember this ditty: “If it comes in a shot, at work you must not.”
There's a reason the FDA threw the hammer down on Four Loko and its kin: coupling a caffeinated-energy high with the lowered inhibitions of alcohol brings out the worst in people. Sure, it can also be a lot of fun. But that's what after-parties are for.
We love a well-balanced Martini. Who doesn't? The problem with a Martini—or any of the other stirred, all-spirit classics—is that they are all spirits. Two of these might have you feeling like Dean Martin ready to croon a Christmas tune, but three could very easily find you singing the holiday blues the next morning. Stick to something light.