In what sounds like the world’s most overblown Yelp review, Obi-Wan Kenobi warns Luke Skywalker on the way into a bar, “You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy…we must be careful.” Unlike a Yelp review, though, he’s spot on.
The bar, of course, is the infamous Mos Eisley Cantina on the planet Tatooine. And true to his warning, it’s the kind of place where the extraterrestrial jazz barely stops, even for a double homicide.
It’s the perfect place to meet a quality smuggler, which is what draws the pair there in the first place. In the scene at the bar, no drinks are called out by name—but we have a pretty good idea what Luke and the boys were actually drinking.
Han Solo — Beer and a Shot
Or, since Han shot first, you might order it as a “shot and a beer.”
Either way, slam your whiskey and sip your cheap brew. A no BS order for a no BS bar, which is definitely the kind of joint the Cantina is.
It’s also an appropriate order for an intergalactic badass on the go: It’s fast and, just as important, doesn’t draw too much attention. It is the perfect combo before attempting a Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
Luke Skywalker — Vodka Cranberry
Entering the bar, baby-faced Skywalker doesn’t look so different than most barely legal drinking patrons and is immediately called out by the bartender for bringing in droids (an oddly firm rule for an establishment with fairly lax attitudes toward seemingly bigger affronts, such as murder).
Taking a seat at the bar, he orders a drink and tries to remain under the radar while taking in the other patrons. What did he order? Most likely, it was the official drink of 21-year old boys anywhere in galaxy: Fireball whiskey. However, that wouldn’t explain how quickly he draws the ire of nearby patrons. The Cantina definitely seems like a whiskey establishment, so it’s more likely that Skywalker ordered another newbie favorite: the Vodka Cran.
He’s barely gotten his drink when a spider-walrus faced creature and his equally unattractive buddy shove Skywalker, informing him bluntly that he isn’t welcome here. Of course, being the Mos Eisley Cantina, this quickly escalates into attempted murder.
Maybe he should have stuck with the Fireball.
Chewbacca — Fuzzy Navel
How could the hirsute Chewie order anything else? The Wookie co-pilot and loyal friend may be among the best warriors in the galaxy, but he’s not the type to appreciate pre-Prohibition recipes or fancy ice. Chewie wants what he wants.
And if the eight-foot-tall, sharpshooting Wookie wants a Peach Schnapps and orange juice, that’s exactly what you pour him.
Obi-Wan Kenobi – Death in the Afternoon
After some small time toughs threaten young Luke, Jedi Master Obi-Wan steps in an unceremoniously removes the threatening gun…and the arm to which it was attached. After looking around the room for more takers, he quietly and calmly walks Skywalker over to meet Solo, where he seamlessly switches into negotiating transport.
His calm, almost ethereal persona belies the strength and danger shrouded under his robes. So it only makes sense to picture him drinking a Death in the Afternoon. The elegant and opalescent classic, a mixture of absinthe and Champagne, was allegedly invented by another wise elder, Ernest Hemingway.
Greedo, the Bounty Hunter – Kamikaze
If you’re a bounty hunter on the go, it’s important to have a drink order that can either be slammed or sipped. The Kamikaze, a 70’s icon, is just as happy in a martini or a shot glass, and can be tossed back quickly if you happen upon an opportunity, like Han Solo wandering alone through a dark bar.
Pro tip: These are easy to drink, but after a couple, your trigger reflexes might be a little slow.