The moment we’ve all been waiting for is almost here: Orange is the New Black’s second season premieres on June 6—better make sure that Netflix subscription is up to date.
To welcome the show’s sophomore season, we put together a drinking game that celebrates the story’s particular charm and all the ladies of Litchfield Correctional Facility. We recommend sipping a cocktail instead of taking shots. You could go hard, of course, but then you’d have to re-watch the premiere. Which, come to think of it, wouldn’t be so bad.
Take a drink every time…
1. Pennsatucky prays.
We don’t know what shape Tiffany “Pennsatucky” Doggett will be in when the show returns. Piper did a number on the murderous, God-fearing meth-head last season, but we have a feeling her preachy ways will be back full force. It’s her calling, after all. Take one drink every time she bows her head—or raises her arms—in prayer. “RECEIVE THE LORD!”
2. Someone refers to Mendez as Pornstache.
Prison guard George “Pornstache” Mendez earned his nickname honestly, which is about the only honest thing he’s ever done, as far as we can tell. One drink every time someone refers to Mendez by his appropriately raunchy nickname.
3. Someone complains about the prison food.
C’mon—it’s prison food. But we know enough to never complain about it out loud to Red or to any of the latinas now running things. Like Red says, “There’s rules in this place…” Take a drink every time an inmate complains. Yes, that also includes making a disgusted face.
4. There’s a flashback.
Whether it’s a peek at what Piper and Alex’s life was like when they were a happy drug smuggling couple or a look at how Daya and her mother ended up in prison, flashbacks make the characters more relatable. Only one drink per flashblack, please!
5. Red plots to regain her spot as kitchen matriarch.
Red’s last attempt to regain her spot as the rightful kitchen matriarch may have failed, but it’s just a matter of time before she’s slinging grub again. One drink every time she plots to get herself back in the kitchen. Boozy bonus: Finish your drink if she succeeds.
6. There’s a sex scene.
So. Many. Heated sex scenes in OITNB. One drink every time someone gets down and dirty.
7. A security guard is intimate with an inmate.
They have needs, you know? No matter if it’s John or Pornstache, take a slug.