The Hilarious Election Cocktails You’ve Been Waiting For

LDC _ Skimm

It’s election season, and the partisan tension is enough to drive voters to drink. Luckily, we have the perfect solution: a quartet of cocktails inspired by the major parties’ presidential candidates and vice-presidential running mates.

Whether you’re watching the debates or filling out your sample ballot—or even if you just want to numb the pain of campaign craziness—these boozy beverages are answering the call of duty.

And remember: Whether you’re voting for the Republican Party, the Democratic Party or a third party, make sure you cast your ballot for the Cocktail Party, too.

The Donald

Tall and golden like a gilded casino tower, this choice is anything but subtle. 

  • 2 oz vodka
  • .5 oz Goldschläger gold-leaf cinnamon schnapps
  • Orange juice

Garnish: Orange wheel and cotton candy

Pour the vodka and Goldschläger into an ice-filled Collins glass, and top with the orange juice. Garnish with an orange wheel and big puff of cotton candy.

The Mike Pence

With a strong tea (party) base and a deep red color, it’s the (side)kick you need to start your night.

Garnish: Cherries

Prepare the tea according to package instructions and let cool. Pour the prepared tea and bourbon into an ice-filled Collins glass, top with a splash of club soda, and garnish with cherries.

The Hillary

A riff on the classic Democrat cocktail, this option’s a little stiffer than the one you might ordinarily choose.

  • 2.5 oz gin
  • 1.5 oz freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • .5 oz peach liqueur
  • .5 oz honey syrup*
  • Soda water

Garnish: Lemon wheel

Pour all of the ingredients except the soda water into an ice-filled Collins glass, stir, and top with the soda water. Garnish with a lemon wheel.

*Honey syrup: Heat equal parts honey and water in a small saucepan, and stir until the honey is completely dissolved. Cool and store refrigerated for up to 1 week.

The Tim Kaine

Even though it may not be the most exciting cocktail, pretty much everyone loves this super sweet “dad drink.”

Garnish: Apple fan

Pour the rum into an ice-filled Collins glass, and top with cola. Garnish with an apple fan, and serve with a big smile.

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  7 Comments.

Discussion

  • A C posted 8 months ago

    Fixed, thanks!

  • low.marcia.2e811 posted 8 months ago

    Where is the drink for Johnson/Weld. For Johnson New Mexico peanuts, hot peppers and scotch. For Weld Boston beans and vodka. Also green tea liquor for green party candidate.

  • jospatk2hotmailcom1300725307 posted 8 months ago

    Where are the third-party drinks?? I feel like Stein and Johnson cocktails would be great!

  • atdlhea.1407 posted 8 months ago

    No Gary Johnson cocktail? What about the Libertarian Party? Gary will be on the ballot in all 50 states and D.C.

  • atdlhea.1407 posted 8 months ago

    No Gary Johnson or Bill Weld? What are you" Pushing this duopoly junk? Gary Johnson is on the ballot in all 50 states and D.C. and you don't even have a drink for him? SHAME ON YOU!

  • Stinton posted 8 months ago

    It currently says 5 ounces of honey syrup on the Hillary... I'm guessing there's a decimal missing, and it should say .5 oz? Otherwise that's a LOT of honey syrup!

  • Mindy1414 posted 8 months ago

    These are hysterical!! Thank you for giving us something to laugh about with this election. I can't stop laughing at the garnish on The Donald, well done!


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